Does the digital-age affect our ability to process death?

by Caleb Bilgen

While talking with Eric recently on one cool summer evening, the subject of goodbyes came up. We both had similar experiences growing up overseas in dynamic communities where learning to say goodbye became a significant part of our early lives. We differ in one important aspect, though. I am 20 years younger. While reflecting upon past friends and those we have “kept in touch with,” this difference proved to be most notable.

Being born not only in the 70's but also in the remote highlands of Papua New Guinea, Eric grew up quite unconnected from the outside world. The only external communication was by post or visitors coming through. For me, on the other hand, being born at the beginning of the internet-b00m (the 90's) as well as in a capital city, I grew up with the growing world at my fingertips via a speedily developing platform called “the internet.” I remember getting an email address to keep in touch with a friend who was moving when I was just 10 years old!

The rest, we all know, happened so very fast. Facebook and other social media platforms have since re-opened so many doors and photo albums we once thought were behind us and have connected millions of people across the globe. It is a good thing, and I am quite happy to be able to reconnect and stay in touch with old friends. But what does it mean for us as we manage our “real” relationships? Does being connected to everyone all the time cause us to take for granted the few people we are with for some of the time? Does it prevent us from being fully present?

A most interesting outcome is that our goodbyes are no longer bound to the probable reality of never coming into contact with a person again. As a result, are we denying ourselves full closure?

My main question became this – as participants in this virtual-connectedness that appears to be without end, has our ability to process “parting” or “letting go” been affected [negatively] by the development of the digital age, especially social media? Consequently, I began to wonder about the ultimate goodbye – death. Death is where we bid farewell to fellow humans with the relative certainty of never interacting with them again. Regardless of how one's culture views it, death is inevitable. But how do we deal with it when we're losing the “essence” of what goodbyes used to be?

While I understand that to such a blanket question no simple answer can be expected, it is important to consider the implications of our involvement in this digital age as relational beings. Since we no longer experience many “true” partings or goodbyes, how can we maintain a healthy process for dealing with death, the ultimate goodbye?

Song Writing Inspiration Part I: The Birds

This is the first of a three part series on what inspires me (Eric) to create.

One day in April I was getting up to go to work at my brother’s greenhouse, and when I looked outside found that it had snowed overnight.  For someone who was born in the tropics and spent a good amount of his adult life near the equator, winter is not easy. Or should I say, for me, winter is not easy, because I would guess that there are those who love it despite having spent a large amount of time in the tropics. On top of that, by April, one feels that winter should be quickly becoming a thing of the past instead of a current event. Needless to say, I was a little discouraged as I headed out to get in the freezing car for yet another numbing drive. It was in this state that I was confronted with a startling truth. When I opened the door to go outside, it was not the cold that hit me, but the birds singing. At that moment I realized that despite the cold and the snow, spring was here, and the birds would be filling the air with their songs again, and this filled me with a desire to create.

This is not the first time that others’ music has inspired me. I have found that others’ music, film, art, architecture and all other sorts of creative acts have filled me with a desire to create; sometimes about the very thing that is prompting me, but more often just to create in general. In return, we hope that we are inspiring others.

Who or what is feeding your creative juices? What is driving you to create?

What has happened to the year?

Post-Concert, Dec. 15, 2012

I thought that with the end of one year and the start of another I (Eric) would take a quick look at what happened to 2012. At the end of last year (2011) we were pumped about the release of Dayenu, and the anticipation of the projects to come. So what happened to those projects? We have a tonne of material, we have equipment, we have some experience, and the desire is burning strong.  So what happened? Well Caleb was able to make it up for about 1 week in the spring and in that time we laid down the foundation for ten songs that we were planning to release as part of two EPs in the summer. The problem is that I love these songs so much that I could not let them go, at least not in the state they were in. Every time I thought I might be ready to finish them off I would learn something new and add another thing to the list of things to change. Then we were hired to arrange, play, record, mix and produce a Christmas CD for Suzanne Harvey. That project took up the rest of the year, in fact we hardly noticed the passing of the days, weeks, and months because it happened so fast. It was a great learning experience as well as being a lot of fun and finished off in December with the release of the CD (Things I Love About Christmas by Suzanne Harvey -  which can be purchased or perused on any of the e-music distribution sites including i-tunes, and amazon) and four enjoyable live performances.

So what happened to 2012? We learned a lot about how to create music and translate that into a digital format that expresses the emotions that we were feeling when we wrote the song. I feel like I have completed a couple years worth of university education on the subject and I'm hoping that is reflected in the music we make.

What to expect in 2013? We should have two EPs available before the summer and are looking to make another complete album for some time near the end of the year. We would love to get the chance to share the songs live but have found that the logistics for that are pretty tricky (visa issues, etc). So we will see, and if this year is like any of the ones past there are some incredible things in store that we can't even imagine. Should be another good year. 

How it All Began

We are Caleb Bilgen, Eric Lawrence and Hannah-Lee Lawrence. Our band is called Be Lyrebirds. The three of us are all-out passionate about song-writing, and sharing our music.

It all started a few years back when the three of us still lived in Turkey. Those were the formative years. Caleb and Eric got together most Sunday afternoons to mess around on their guitars and write songs together. Artistically something just clicked, and gradually they started recording their vocal and guitar parts and mixing them. Over time various pieces of recording equipment and a digital drum kit made their way back to Turkey in our summer luggage and things progressed further. Other friends added their voices and instruments to some of the mixes.

Up until this point, it was just a hobby. Then something significant happened. The summer that we all moved back to North America a new song called End Up Here With You was born. There was something magical about this song that made the guys want to just drop everything else and create music for a living.

At this point Caleb had to head off to college, and we were planning a mission trip to Papua New Guinea. We decided to leave our 14 songs in the hands of a friend who would work on mixing them professionally in his studio.

Something began to brew in me as well. Eric and I travelled to Papua New Guinea in April as planned, and during our months there we were inspired to write music together for the first time. I began to write lyrics for some of the songs that Eric had never finished. I had no piano to play, so I started singing and experimenting with harmonies instead. Eric began the painstaking process of studying the craft of music mixing, by reading everything he could get his hands on. Together, we felt compelled to continue this process and see where it took us when we were reunited with Caleb in January.

When we returned to Canada and got together with Caleb again, it was like we had never been apart. The old songs just clicked and new songs poured out of us. We were eager to hear the finished mix of our old songs so that we could compile them into an album and get it out there to the public. Unfortunately our mixer, Tony, had been dealing with a lot of personal issues over the months we'd been away, so had struggled to get much done. It looked like this may continue for a while, so Eric and Caleb started working on mixing the songs on their own with the equipment they had.

In the mean time, we entered a bandspotting contest, played a gig at a fundraiser, and attended a music festival called "Festival of Faith and Music", all down at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, MI, where Caleb goes to school. We've had a small taste of the band life, but it has all just been a teaser. Without an album to promote on our social networks, we don't have much on which to build a fan-base, which will hopefully lead to a tour and many many chances to perform.

These days, the guys are working like crazy to finish up a four-song sampler to put out there, and to complete the mixes for Dayenu, our debut album. It seems like it's never going to happen, and it's hard to be a band when you live six hours apart on opposite sides of the border, but we are very determined! When you love what you do, it drives you to persevere.

Watch out for our free, four-song sampler, coming in mid-October, and the complete album at the end of October.